


Body

by Lunitadiciembre



Category: Original Work, Poetry - Fandom
Genre: I think this might work for my Regulus fic, if I ever write it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 07:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21032822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunitadiciembre/pseuds/Lunitadiciembre





	Body

They say I’m growing into my body  
I always thought  
that my body would become me  
someday.  
I waited for it to catch up  
but it dropped the anchor.

It feels like:  
You’re swimming with clothes on  
slow and clumsy, heavy limbs,  
water waves dancing and changing you  
into a thousand shapes  
playing pretend.

And then:  
They pull you out of the water,  
and under the sun  
the wet fabric is sticking to your body  
it has its hold on you  
you can’t take it off.  
The waves are stagnant,  
trapped under your chest  
crying out.

They say this is the way it’s supposed to be  
this is who you are.

Once  
my aunt bought me clothes that were way too small  
When I tried them on  
I felt like I had disappeared  
like they had eaten me from the inside.  
When I tried them on  
everyone said they fitted me like a glove.

There’s a girl who looks a bit like me  
she wears make up and looks pretty,  
she looks lovely.  
I don’t know why  
people keep mixing us up.

There’s a guy who looks a lot like me  
when someone mixed us up  
I laughed and I felt flattered  
but then I went home and saw his face  
looking back at me  
and I felt  
like a fraud.

There’s a magic performer in my mirror  
she plays tricks on me  
by taking my place  
and making me fool everybody.

It feels like  
they cursed me to never feel quite right  
never fit into myself.  
I don’t want this body  
and this doesn’t feel like the body  
the face, the chest, the hair  
that I should’ve gotten.

I look like a little girl  
trapped in a woman’s body  
a woman costume…  
I want to take it all off  
flatten the curves,  
only the women curves  
and chop off my hair.

I wish I was a child again  
and dressed myself up.  
Back then all the clothes  
felt like fun disguises  
that I could take on and off.  
Back then my body felt mine.


End file.
